Confusion and Crossroads
Dear Creator Diary,
Sometimes I don't get myself and I do not know if I am the only one who feels this way literally 95% of the time.
I think over and over about everything going on in every area of my life and wonder why it went this way and not that way.
I stop to analyze everything and wonder where I went wrong, why does it all seem to go nowhere.
I don't feel that I am making progress in anything. I keep doubting myself and my ideas. I keep stalling out of fear of failing. I just don't get what to do.
I keep waiting for the day I have the answers.
Will it ever get better? I been waiting and waiting for years, I seem to make progress, one step forward and then take 10 steps backwards.
What is it? Why does my inner self not comprehend how *I* myself can be the determining factor here.
Why do I stay stuck in this dark tunnel? No matter how much I keep walking forward, I cannot see the light. A never-ending road that seems to be stuck in traffic for days. No detour, no exit, no final destination.
Where to? I don't know, I never know the destination, I just keep driving.
Sometimes I feel so alone in my own thoughts that I cannot seem to escape my torment. I can sit for hours thinking and thinking and my thoughts don't leave my mind.
How nice it would be to be driven, motivated and determined to make it to the final destination. No matter the winding roads, no matter the detours. No matter the delays, the final destination will be the most illuminating exit to the greatest destination of all time.
An unknown destination, far better than everything *I* always wanted.
But when will that occur? How many times do I need to restart my internal GPS?
As I sit here I wonder, why do I feel like the most complicated person ever?
Is it just me?
Am I the only one that continues to get in my own way, that lets my thoughts take over all day.
Then here we are up all night wondering again. Oh great a new day already here and here we go again, on this never-ending trip to nowhere.
Mi mente étonnante,
LWTMT
Dear LWTMT,
When you think about it, of course we can never quite “arrive.”
Every day we wake up, and we are here. We speak of the past, we dream of the future, but we only ever live in this moment—this breath, this blink.
And when you’re caught in a storm of questions, it’s hard to believe that being here could ever be enough.
But you are not behind. You are not broken.
You are exactly where you're meant to be.
Your worth is not earned through momentum.
It is not proved through progress or productivity.
You were born worthy.
You were born enough.
Of course we ache for more. That longing—for clarity, for direction, for peace—is only human. That’s what makes us beautiful. We are nuanced, intellectual, emotional beings.
But if we keep living for someday, we’ll miss the small, sacred miracles tucked inside today.
So pause. Not to analyze, but to notice. Notice the light that still touches your skin. Notice the way you keep showing up, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
Complicated? Sure. But you’re not the only one. We’re all stitched together with contradictions and questions. It’s not your flaw. It’s your fingerprint.
And when you can’t sleep, when your mind loops back on itself like a song stuck on repeat, try trading the weight of certainty for the softness of curiosity.
Ask not “Where am I going?”
But “What might be possible from here?”
You may not see it yet, but the light isn’t waiting at the end of the tunnel. It’s already flickering inside you.
You aren’t lost. You are home.
Keep going. Not to escape yourself, but to finally meet the version of you who’s been here all along. And always was.
